conundrum

Tough 8 mile run this morning.  Shan and I finished in 1:20:38.   I was very grateful when Steve left us with 2 miles to go to meet his friend Nancy for their scheduled 7 miler in Barton Creek.  Today I didn't have Mark L to help me keep the pace under control.  Steve and Shan made it look effing effortless, talking the whole way while I'm huffing and puffing doing my best to keep up.  The pace was fast enough that we took 3 walk breaks and only ran 1 minute slower than last week.

I feel like I'm in a helluva spot.  In work or at play we all have needs that need to be met.  I absolutely love and need the company of my Thursday morning running friends, Shan, Mark, Steve and sometimes Diana. However, my running needs are very different from theirs.  In a nutshell they are hare's and I'm the tortoise.  During our runs they are holding back talking the entire run and I'm struggling to stay with them throwing in a short sentence occasionally.  For me it makes for a stressful situation.  The evening before our group runs I find myself torn with a bit of dread thinking of the struggling I'll be doing but looking forward to the camaraderie we'll be sharing.

I think I'm to the point in my running career where speed is not much of a concern.  I'm finding myself very content to chug along mixing in some walking with the running.   And, I know I do need to mix in some faster stuff but to what end?  Not where I'm feeling some dread beforehand.  The last thing I want to do is ask them to come back down to my level and make the run about me.  So here I am, stuck in my conundrum.