bleak future

2 mile walk with Ellie this morning.  Looks as if my walks with Ellie are going to be the only light in an otherwise bleak future.  I don't like my new life and I can't ever see liking it.  I think I've always known that somehow I'd end up alone. Seems like I was destined for this from the start.   Maybe I subconsciously set it up that way, who knows.  I'm in it now though so I guess I'll see what tomorrow brings.  Most likely the same loneliness and sadness I'm feeling today.....