Do I still have it? I suppose I'll see tomorrow and in the upcoming months. With only 147 running miles the last two months due to depression, being super busy at work, weekends being filled with too much social time, I can't help but wonder about my commitment to continuing as an endurance athlete. Also, the continuing tingling in my left knee has me feeling very mortal as well.
One of the voices in my head the last few days has me considering stepping down to the 25k at Rocky Raccoon this Saturday, not having run a step since last Thursday makes me question whether I should do the 50k. That voice justifies the drop down in distance by saying that with being off work tomorrow I can get in a 10 miler in Austin before we head to Cissy and Gene's house in Coldspring. That would still give me 25 miles for the weekend AND I'd be back to C and G's in time to see the entire UT Tex Tech football game.
The other voice says, stop being a wimp, do the run, get the finishers award and another notch on my Ultra gunbelt. You're really in pretty good shape. You did have some really good miles in June, July and Aug and don't forget last Tuesday's run was a 10 miler in 1:44!!........and Sam did a very difficult 50 mile in Bandera last Saturday too on fairly minimal training miles, in other words on GUTS!!!! Your psyche needs the ultra finish too.....no matter if it's slow. You need to get it done.
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